A Dr. Jerry J. Kartzinel once referred to autism as "stealing the soul from a child" and "sucking life's marrow out of the family members, one by one..." That just isn't true. That's not the case. Logan brings the Spirit into our home. I know because I feel it. His soul is so pure and so innocent, and so loving. Logan's special needs may be hard to bear at times; may test our faith, and shake our confidence and leave us feeling inadequate. But that's what parenting does! And He is a blessing. We know because we are witnessing it. We know because Heavenly Father has spoken these words to us. Logan teaches me such profound lessons in such a way, that I think only Logan could. I think Heavenly Father meant for that. After all, Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself. He knows how I learn. He knows how to enter my heart...
No, the "burden" from Autism comes from the outside. It somehow leaves the rest of the world feeling entitled to share their opinions about EVERYTHING you do. Every move you make. It allows them to feel an almost "responsibility or duty" to weigh in how THEY feel you are doing. How they see you from the outside. How they think you should act, live, parent, teach, eat, feed, breathe!
"Have you read the books? All of these books, too? Have you read this article? Or this one? Have you watched the program in tv? Have you tried what this dr reccommends? Or that one? How's his diet? Why isn't he eating? Have you tried these diets? Any of them? All of them? Have you read the books on that? Why isn't he at this milestone yet? Like that other autistic kid? Are you working on that?
How much therapy does he get? Can you get him more? Is he at the best therapy location? Are they meeting his needs? How about his schooling? Are you meeting with his teachers? How often? You need to make sure to keep on top of them! Make sure you always have your foot in the door! Are they meeting his needs? Have you read the books on that?
Are you meeting his needs at home? What do you do at home for him? What goals have you set for him? Are you working on them? Why isn't he talking? Have you read the books on that? Why isn't he potty trained? Have you read the books on that? Why doesn't he sleep at night? Have you read the books on that?"
Oh, and how is Aiden doing?
These and so many Other questions are thrown my way every single day. They're quadrupled when every few months I have meetings with his school, and with his therapists, and with his coordinator. It is never easy, and never did I EVER imagine having to discuss so in-depth, my child and my parenting habits with so many "qualified" strangers!
But I am truly a blessed woman. A loved and praised wife to an extraordinary man. I am an honored mother, and a very much loved Daughter of God. If this is the life presented to me in the pre-exsistance and the life I chose, I chose very well. And was presented with a gift! I am so grateful for my life and the children that call me mommy. With such sweet and sacred knowledge as I have been given... Who am I to do anything but the best I can. So come what may!
