The same light, continued...

I mentioned in the previous post that if you look in a spectrum, you can see all the colors of the rainbow.

I thought about the word Spectrum. The word "Spectrum" was first used to describe the rainbow of colors in visible light when separated using a prism. 

But looking at the origin of the word, it means "image, apparition."

From "specere:" to look.

What does it mean to look? 

To see or understand? 

We know that to "look" is to employ our sight. To search, to turn our glance, gaze, or attention. 

But to "look" can be described in so many other ways. Such a simple, single syllable word has countless meanings!

To look after, To take care of, to look for, To search for, To expect, To

look into, To inquire into, To investigate, To look on or upon, To regard in a certain way, To look out, To be watchful or careful, To look over, To examine or inspect, To expect or hope to, To seem about to, To promise to, To search for and find, To become better, To improve.

A more modern use of the word "Spectrum" is used to describe a group or classification. For example, the autism spectrum.

I get so upset at the mention of the words Autism or Spectrum.

And call it what you will: denial, animosity,  bitterness, resentment... 

Autism and I have a complicated relationship.

Anyway, looking deeper into the word "Spectrum," I have seen that it also has a deeper and actually beautiful meaning...

For a reason only He knows for now, Heavenly Father has given Logan to us to care for, nurture, provide for, rear, love and raise in our family. And Logan has already endowed our lives with more blessings and understanding than We could have ever imagined. 

Before coming to earth, Logan was given the choice to accept his body and his life knowing difficulties of Autism.

What a brave and courageous example!

Before coming to earth, I too, was given the choice and the opportunity to look after my son. And I accepted!

To take care of Logan.

To search for him.

To look on.

To be watchful and careful.

To expect and hope for. 

To promise to.

To search for and find.

To make better.

To improve.

What a divine role motherhood is. I am so grateful for the ability and opportunity I have been given- the spectrum of experiences I can gain- by being a mother.

"Jesus loves the little children,

All the children of the world.

Red and Yellow, Black and White,

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children of the world."

The same light.

Primary songs are so profound. They teach us basic truths about such profound principles of doctrine. 

Sometimes these songs can be difficult to sing when dark or sad memories flow to our mind.

I know I have had a variety of experiences and emotions when singing "Families are Forever."

And I have always had a very tender memory tied to the song "Jesus Loves The Little Children."

My grandpa used to sing it to my older sister and I when we were younger.

"Jesus loves the little children,

All the children of the world.

Red and Yellow, black and white,

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children of the world." 

I have a confession to make:

I've been watching "Cosmos," although I haven't decided whether I'm a fan of it or not. And for some reason -curiosity obviously, along with the fact I haven't gone in to stop the DVR from recording each episode- I kept last nights episode and decided to watch it while folding laundry.

I really liked when he talked about sound. If we could see sound, we could see sound waves, and see the distances between wave lengths.

And just as the wave length of sound determines the pitch that we hear, the wave length of light determines the color we see.

Light and all of the colors of light travel at the sand speed. But when it hits glass, light slows down and changes direction.

And while traveling through the glass, each color moves at a different speed. 

"For example, violet light which is carried by the shortest waves slows down more than red light, which has the longest waves."

The changes in speed send the color waves off in slightly different directions. 

This got me thinking. *Warning, apparently folding laundry gets me thinking on a much deeper scale. ;)

We are children of God, our Heavenly Father. And He is light, even The Light Of The World. 

So, we are all light.

 We are all Equal (this has and will always be debated between man, but it an undeniable truth.) 

We're equal, and yet we all look different, and come from all different directions on this earth.

Just as light when it hits glass. It slows down and changes direction.

We all travel to the same place, to earth to receive a body. It is only when traveling through that we appear separate. Different. 

Some are faster, some are brighter, some are slower, some are darker...

But we are all from the same light.

Logan

Logan. What a roller coaster ride! Just when I feel like I've figured him out, when I feel like I'm getting the groove of things, he throws me for another loop-de-loop. 

Thanks.

Logan. He is a miracle and a mystery.

And Autism. Ugh! It's a love/hate relationship...

For the record, I hate. Hate. Autism. I hate that it's everywhere I look. I hate that everyone has an opinion when really no one knows anything about it. Not really. Unless of course you have an autistic child yourself, and really even then, you only know what YOU'VE experienced.

My only knowledge has come from what I have witness or read about... I don't have all the answers. but that's ok. I don't need to know everything right now. And even if I wanted to, Heavenly Father is not going to reveal everything to me right now. 

He loves me too much.

I would never build my faith.

How glorious it will be when handicaps and disabilities will be removed. When Logan will see clearly, hear clearly, speak clearly. 

I look forward with everything that I have, everything that I am to that day.

I know Heavenly Father is too.

Until then, I am going to love this child with all my heart. I am going to welcome the dark clouds, not just wait for the rainbows.

I am going to not just endure the storms, but I am going to throw my arms around my son and dance with him in the rain. Every time it rains.

And then, I am going to kneel down and thank Heavenly Father for the dance, hand in hand with my Logan.

Thank you Heavenly Father, for giving me the chance to grow.