This boy is S E V E N!!

I cannot believe this boy of mine is seven!

Sometimes, I look at baby pictures and it seems like just yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital to meet his big (one year old) brother Aiden! But then I start to remember all the phone calls, therapists, doctors, appointments, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork etc.. And think: "it's only been seven years?!"

It's been a hard road. In some ways life is easier and yet, in some ways it's harder. I'm learning that if I wait for life to get "easier" or for the day to come that I actually FEEL like I've got this "mothering" thing down... I will be waiting the rest of my life. And never be satisfied.

Life only gets different. 

Adventure: An adventure is an exciting or unusual experience. It may also be a bold, usually risky undertaking, with an uncertain outcome.

Life with Logan is an adventure. We're only seven years in, so the best is yet to be...

Happy Birthday, My Sweet Logan!

The same light, continued...

I mentioned in the previous post that if you look in a spectrum, you can see all the colors of the rainbow.

I thought about the word Spectrum. The word "Spectrum" was first used to describe the rainbow of colors in visible light when separated using a prism. 

But looking at the origin of the word, it means "image, apparition."

From "specere:" to look.

What does it mean to look? 

To see or understand? 

We know that to "look" is to employ our sight. To search, to turn our glance, gaze, or attention. 

But to "look" can be described in so many other ways. Such a simple, single syllable word has countless meanings!

To look after, To take care of, to look for, To search for, To expect, To

look into, To inquire into, To investigate, To look on or upon, To regard in a certain way, To look out, To be watchful or careful, To look over, To examine or inspect, To expect or hope to, To seem about to, To promise to, To search for and find, To become better, To improve.

A more modern use of the word "Spectrum" is used to describe a group or classification. For example, the autism spectrum.

I get so upset at the mention of the words Autism or Spectrum.

And call it what you will: denial, animosity,  bitterness, resentment... 

Autism and I have a complicated relationship.

Anyway, looking deeper into the word "Spectrum," I have seen that it also has a deeper and actually beautiful meaning...

For a reason only He knows for now, Heavenly Father has given Logan to us to care for, nurture, provide for, rear, love and raise in our family. And Logan has already endowed our lives with more blessings and understanding than We could have ever imagined. 

Before coming to earth, Logan was given the choice to accept his body and his life knowing difficulties of Autism.

What a brave and courageous example!

Before coming to earth, I too, was given the choice and the opportunity to look after my son. And I accepted!

To take care of Logan.

To search for him.

To look on.

To be watchful and careful.

To expect and hope for. 

To promise to.

To search for and find.

To make better.

To improve.

What a divine role motherhood is. I am so grateful for the ability and opportunity I have been given- the spectrum of experiences I can gain- by being a mother.

"Jesus loves the little children,

All the children of the world.

Red and Yellow, Black and White,

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children of the world."

The same light.

Primary songs are so profound. They teach us basic truths about such profound principles of doctrine. 

Sometimes these songs can be difficult to sing when dark or sad memories flow to our mind.

I know I have had a variety of experiences and emotions when singing "Families are Forever."

And I have always had a very tender memory tied to the song "Jesus Loves The Little Children."

My grandpa used to sing it to my older sister and I when we were younger.

"Jesus loves the little children,

All the children of the world.

Red and Yellow, black and white,

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children of the world." 

I have a confession to make:

I've been watching "Cosmos," although I haven't decided whether I'm a fan of it or not. And for some reason -curiosity obviously, along with the fact I haven't gone in to stop the DVR from recording each episode- I kept last nights episode and decided to watch it while folding laundry.

I really liked when he talked about sound. If we could see sound, we could see sound waves, and see the distances between wave lengths.

And just as the wave length of sound determines the pitch that we hear, the wave length of light determines the color we see.

Light and all of the colors of light travel at the sand speed. But when it hits glass, light slows down and changes direction.

And while traveling through the glass, each color moves at a different speed. 

"For example, violet light which is carried by the shortest waves slows down more than red light, which has the longest waves."

The changes in speed send the color waves off in slightly different directions. 

This got me thinking. *Warning, apparently folding laundry gets me thinking on a much deeper scale. ;)

We are children of God, our Heavenly Father. And He is light, even The Light Of The World. 

So, we are all light.

 We are all Equal (this has and will always be debated between man, but it an undeniable truth.) 

We're equal, and yet we all look different, and come from all different directions on this earth.

Just as light when it hits glass. It slows down and changes direction.

We all travel to the same place, to earth to receive a body. It is only when traveling through that we appear separate. Different. 

Some are faster, some are brighter, some are slower, some are darker...

But we are all from the same light.

My silly Logan

I love the simple moments we share in the morning. Just eating breakfast and watching a movie together. I love my Logan.