You can have a hard-but-good day and then (usually when we're tired or when your children are tired) we loose it.
We're "done."
That's my catch phrase. I hate it. I hate myself when I say it. I don't want to be "done."
But I tell myself I'm only human, and I don't have an unlimited amount of patience.
Well... Currently, I feel as though my patience is limited. But I know through Heavenly Father that patience can be doubled. Tripled. It can be increased beyond measure through His help.
On days (like today) when I feel my "temporarily limited" amount of patience drying up - even if I've had a great day (which I did!), and even if my children came home happy (which they did!) - at the end of a looong day, I slip into this beastly mother mode. I allow everything to unravel because I'm "done."
I allow enmity to enter in when I snap back at my children, or snap at my husband. When we complain and snap allow the very real struggles we face to control our behavior. And we let our natural man take control...
I've thought about this. I usually beat myself down for not being kinder. A good mother should serve an entire day without losing her temper. A good wife doesn't take it out on her husband..
Satan works hard to get us to slip and fall. He wants us to lose ourselves to our "natural man" tendencies. He wants us to remember that we're "only human."
Do you know why? Because he wants to rob us of that beautiful feeling we get if we hold out until the end. He LOVES when we try to do good all day and then end up going to bed with a big lump of guilt.
Ahh! Guilt trips! Satan thrives on guilt trips. He loves when we trade our peace and satisfaction for thoughts of how ridiculously hard our lives are.
It has taken me a while to really see, but I know God understands. He really gets it. And He still loves us even when we are "throwing in the towel" because life is too hard. He still loves me when I complain that raising children in peace is too hard. And when I think being cranky and imperfect is all I'm capable of...
I know I was not put on this earth to fail. I can overcome my "natural man" tendencies. God wants me to realize I am exhausted, so I may call upon Him.
Every day.
He wants me to want heavenly help, to create a heavenly home and be a successful wife and mother.
It takes Faith. It takes your willingness and actions in Faith to increase your understanding and enable you to do more.
We are forgiven our weakness. But!
(I found this from a friends blog) "BUT moms, we can be better than constantly feeling "forgiven," we can be "endowed with power from on high." We have the power to overcome, not just to hang on. We have the power to surf, not just to allow ourselves day after day to get dragged through the waves."
Faith is an action word. It takes Faith in Heavenly Father that He can and will help you. Raise you up. Faith allows us to grow more. Understand more. Change and become new.
I'm writing this for myself. As I do all my posts, to remind myself that when times are hard (as they so often are) I can call upon Him to raise me up. To be endowed with His power to overcome the tendency to dismiss the spirit from my home... To become more than my natural man.
